Sometimes..

Flipping through the glossy pages of a glamorous magazine, she came across the most dreaded question of all time.”Do you love yourself ?” it said. She quickly turned the page and pretended like she never read it. But how could she forget reading it after all ? Days went by and she had no answer..

Sometimes she would sit in front of the T.V and eat all the food she could without bunk.
Sometimes she would stand on the scale realizing why it’s called ‘Junk’.

Sometimes she felt like the prettiest girl with her open hair and bare face free from flaws.
Sometimes no cosmetic in the world could make her realize how beautiful she was.

Sometimes she couldn’t take her eyes off the mirror.
Sometimes taking a single look was nothing short of a horror.

Sometimes one single compliment could make her day.
Sometimes one single comment could break her days.

Sometimes she would console herself saying, “This isn’t the right time for love”.
Sometimes she sobbed praying for it to the god above.

I watched her slowly immerse in the quicksand of self hate. And now I knew she didn’t love me but I did so I told her..

I told her that her beauty was beyond comprehension and she needed no validation.
I told her that her ‘Followers’ shouldn’t decide if she should follow her dreams.
I told her that it wasn’t okay for her to resort to an unhealthy lifestyle just because they said ‘Love your curves’ with a smile.
I told her that the ‘Likes’ on her pictures shouldn’t have the power to make her ‘Unlike’ herself.
I told her that she will be loved one day and everything will be okay.

While she looked in the mirror with all the courage she could gather, I told her.

The heart wants what it wants..

Hurriedly closing the small door of her locker, she thought about the history test the day after. Little did she know, she was about to create some ‘history’ of her own. There he was, in his football jersey all sweaty from the victory he just earned his team.Turning around was not so easy for her this one time. It turned her life upside down, for better or worse ? You decide. She’d never felt this way before. The little storm in her stomach was an alien feeling she made fun of when others told her about it. Was it weird ? Sure. But special..very special.In some tiny little corner of her heart she knew it wasn’t the right thing to do but the heart wants what it wants.

She looked at him in awe with her eyes full of lust. This sparkling lust was soon going to turn to dust which was going to pollute her body, mind and soul. It was bizarre and of course stupid of her to feel for somebody who hates on her for writing that brutal criticism of his team’s performance in the school newspaper. Instead of feeling gloomy for the hundred reasons she couldn’t have him, she smiled endlessly cherishing this brand new feeling. Yes, she was in love. It was perhaps the most alive she had ever felt. She enviously watched another girl in his arms from a distance. Sobbed. She was rendered helpless at the hands of love. This is’nt a sugar coated cliche in which the girl transformed into a doll, got the boy to feel the same way for her and they lived happily ever after. This is the bitter reality which every girl goes through at least once in her life.No,she never even talked to him. She cried herself to sleep on her wet pillow for months to come. Maybe first love isn’t so sweet after all.

I can’t say ‘The End’ because it never will. She will never completely lose the helplessness and pain of not being loved back. It will knock at her door every single time she tries to forget about it. It might fade away with time but it will live forever. Even in the vaguest form possible. It will live.